So that I can ramble for a bit.
Whenever I write a post like this one, I feel compelled to acknowledge that I know not all of you share my beliefs. This is not a "faith blog", although I at least try to be faithful in my blogging. There are lots of godly women out there who do the faith-writing thing way better than I do. Some of you are here to see my latest furniture rehab project and I think that's great! If you ever want to know what I think you're missing, feel free to email me and I'll chat you up. :)
But every once in a while, I feel like God is gently thumpin' my skull about sharing something from my heart. I learned long ago that it's just easier to respond to the skull-thumpin' before it becomes a full-blown smack upside the head. So here we are.
Through a couple of bloggy coincidences, I connected with Missy from It's Almost Naptime. She is one of those godly women who does the faith blog thing REALLY well. Missy commented on an old post and that ultimately lead to me blubbering like a baby at least 3x in 2 days. I'm going to share the email that I sent to Missy because I think that some of you can relate.
I've added a couple of notes to make it more understandable for you all, but this rambling mess is otherwise what Missy received. It's amazing she didn't delete and hide.
I had to drop you an email and tell you a little something. I have no idea how you landed in my little corner of the internet, but I'm quite sure it was a God Thing....although now that I see you're from Texas, we'll call it a God Thang. While I do read every comment that I get, yours caught my eye because it was on an old post that has long since been buried in my archives.
To me, that suggested you had either been browsing pretty far back in my archives or you were Googling something like "if I can't afford it, should I steal it?". Seriously. I get hits on that particular post all the time from people searching something like that. Each time, I desperately wish I could email them and say "NO! You fool!"
Anyway, whether you found that post by browsing or searching, I was intrigued, so I clicked over to check ya out. If you and I are long-time bloggy friends and you comment on my blog all the time and I've been by to visit you too, please don't tell me. My feeble brain couldn't take it. Oh, never mind. You can tell me. It will make a good story. Note: Missy assured me that we weren't long time bloggy friends and that she had just found my site. WHEW!
The first thing I read was your post about nearly losing your daughter in the hot car. It took me at least 10 minutes to pull it together after reading that. Then between last night and today, I've probably spent 2 hours reading your site. When I started reading your post called "What I really want you to know", I knew God wanted me to be there.
Now, I'll tell you that I'm one of those crazy, Jesus-lovin', bible-believin' Christians. I know who I am in Christ. I turned my life over to Him about 10 years ago. But lately, my faith has been like cold jello.
Like you said, I feel like I'm covered in snot, dirt, poop and drool. I've been yelling at my kids, grumping at my hubby, skipping my quiet time, spending too much time on the computer and being an all-around crummy christian, mom, wife, friend...you name it. And the longer this goes on, the further I drift from God. And the further I drift from God, the more snot-covered I become. And so on and so on. Quite a lovely cycle, no?
I keep telling myself that I just need to pull it together and bring myself back to God, so that things can get better. The crazy part is that I know better. I'm the first one to tell a seeker (Note: someone who wants to learn about God) that "God will meet you right where you are. You don't need to make yourself more presentable to be in His presence. Let Him do the cleaning." But somehow, when it came to myself, I didn't apply those teachings.
Your post was exactly what I needed to hear. I am so grateful that God brought me to your site, so that I could be reminded of His unconditional love. Thank you.
It's taken me nearly an hour to write this email because I have to keep stopping to cry...no sob...it's not pretty here right now. Much snot (literally). But that's ok.
Before you do one more thing today, go read Missy's post about Why God Thinks You Rock the Casbah.
I just know that there is someone here today that needs to read this as badly as I did. I am praying for you. Yes, YOU! Whomever you are. You are on my heart today.