02 January 2009

First Post of 2009

While writing my 2008 recap post, I came across one of the first posts that I wrote for A Soft Place to Land. It still resonates so strongly that I wanted to share it with you again.

I fear that I may have given the impression that my definition of creating a soft place to land for my family is simply to have a home that looks pretty. In 2009, I hope to share a more rounded view of what it means to set the tone in my home and create a warm, welcoming and safe place for my family to rest. (And while I'm sharing with you, I hope to do a better job of it myself.)

But, no worries! I've still got oodles of decorating ideas and projects too. That's the fun part for me.

So let's get on with it...

Living on the Roof
from April 2008





I've been thinking for the past few days about what it means to create "A Soft Place to Land" for my family. I know that I want our home to be a comfy place to collapse at the end of the day.

So how do I do that? What are some ways to make our home a sanctuary from the outside world? A place to feel peaceful and at rest even if the outside world is spinning out of control. I started thinking about things like...

  • Keeping our home reasonably tidy. Not in a freaky "nobody-lives-here" kind of way but enough that I'm not scrambling around like a crazy woman to hide the clutter in my dryer if someone shows up unannounced.


  • Planning and cooking healthy meals. Luckily, my family isn't terribly picky so if that just means sandwiches and canned soup some nights, no problem. I'd just like it if my kids didn't scream "PIZZA MAN!!!" every. single. time. the doorbell rings.


  • Making sure the coffee pot is set up every night. Seems like a little thing but I know The Hubster loves a hot cuppa joe as he's leaving our little sanctuary at 6:00 in the morning.


So anyway, these are the kinds of things I've been thinking about for the past week or so. Aaaaaand then I went to my women's bible study this morning. Ugh.

We're doing a study on managing your moods. Today's chapter was on PMS'ing. Now, I'm a pretty lucky gal because this isn't something that I have to deal with too much. I know some women who deal with tremendous PMS and it's a real burden. I figured I'd just follow along with the discussion this week and maybe next week we'd cover something that really applied to me.



Theeeeeeeen we read some bible verses...Proverbs 21:9 - Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Then this one...Proverbs 21:19 - Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.

And my personal favorite...Proverbs 27:15 - A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day.

SERIOUSLY???? The desert? The roof? That's better than being inside with me? There's no toilet out there! Or coffee! Or potato chips!



And that's when it hit me. The biggest thing that I can do to make my home "A Soft Place to Land" is to change my mood. Stop being a grouch! For the most part, I set the tone in our home. If I'm in a mood, then our home just isn't a peaceful place to be.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm completely horrible. I'm pretty sure that The Hubster would choose to stay inside with me over sleeping on the roof. At least I think so. But I do have my days.

You know what I mean. It's been a long, busy day. I'm tired. The kids have been whining and arguing while I try to get dinner together. (I like to call that time of day "The Witching Hour") And what does my hubby get to walk into? A big hug after a long day? A pleasant "Hi sweetie!" Nope. He gets a big 'ole grouch. Me. Poor man. It's a wonder he comes home some days. I wouldn't want to come home to me on those days if I could avoid it.

Argh. Not exactly what I thought I was going to get out of my bible study today. Don't you just love it when God has other plans.



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83 comments {Click here to leave a comment}:

Anonymous said...

Wow! Did I need to hear that! Thanks for the post.

texasaggiemom

Laurel MacD said...

I love your posts and insights and am definitely looking forward to your 2009.
-Laurel

Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

This post really resonated with me. Thank you so much. I try to always stop what I am doing (without tooo big of a sigh) and greet my man at the door with a hello and kiss. He deserves this.

Holly said...

Cant wait to see what you have in store for 2009~!

Betsy said...

Thanks so much for posting. Remembering to be a loving, patient wife is quite a difficult task. What an amazing reminder the scripture is for us.

Jen - Balancing beauty and bedlam said...

Ah girlfriend - right there with you on remembering it and intentionally applying it. :)

Queen B said...

Thanks for posting that again. I needed to read it! You are absolutely right...we do set the tone of our homes. There is nothing worse than realizing (after a horrible day) that I could have changed the outcome with a few kind words or if I'd just kept my mouth shut!! Great thoughts to begin the year!

Amber said...

Thanks for sharing, Kimba. This has been on my mind lately too. Not the roof thing, I'd never read that scripture, but the whole "mood" thing. Mothers definitely set the tone of the home, and when I'm grumpy, it's like a ripple effect.

I've been really meditating on changing that. And I agree that the little things we do in advance can help to curb some of the triggers.

Thanks! And happy 2009!

Christi said...

Kimba, thanks for sharing this again. I really needed to hear it!

Holly said...

Oh my. It's just not fair, is it? My mood sets the tone for the whole household? But I'm so good at being a grouch! Sigh. I could've written this post. I've been thinking about this lately, too. It's just so hard to change.

scargosun said...

I really needed that, Kimba! Thank yoU!

Seeking Grace on the Narrow Path said...

Your home is lovely! You are so blessed!
I am sure hubby will understand when you are not feeling up to par!
Have a blessed 2009!
Bren

That Girl said...

You are so right that the woman/wife/mom sets the tone for the house. I never thought about it until now though.
Thanks!

Becky said...

Well said! My family has become, ahem, familiar with the sound of a dripping faucet around dinner time, too.

Workin' on it, though. I, too, would love for my home to be a sanctuary.

Sandra said...

What a great reminder. Thanks!

HeathahLee said...

It was good back then, and it's still good now. I needed this reminder!

Robin said...

Ok...so you totally read my book! Thanks for the scriptures-I needed them-even today! :)

coco said...

Love these verses...I try to always be mindful of how hard my husband works and how much stress he is under at work and that the last thing he needs is to come home to a grouch (right in the middle of the "witching hour") but that doesn't mean I don't need a reminder every now and then...Thank you!

Melissa said...

Oh, Kimba, I wish I knew you in person! What an encouragement. I really appreciate your honesty! With all of the incredible things women had to say about being real after your "keeping it real" post, I think this is what being real is all about. If you decide to do a "real" party sometime the way several women suggested, I would encourage everyone to open their hearts the way you do, not just air their literal dirty laundry. We ALL have messy houses, but it's a lot scarier to admit when you're mean, you've messed up, or something hurts. This is how we really learn from each other. Thank you!!

Sandy Toes said...

I am so like "you"...my husband comes home to the same person...or a person spurting out the schedule for the night..practices, piano...who goes where and when!

Great! Just like your husband and a cup of coffee...my husband has little things that make him happy..more than a seven course meal or a clean house!
Thanks for this post!
-sandy toes

Money Girl said...

Wow! Thanks for your great insights. It's nice to have a gentle reminder of the power we have in our homes and over our families without actually exercising any "power". We should use it for good rather than grouchiness!

Vindiciti said...

You've got incredible timing. My husband is about to come home from a 15 month deployment, in like, the immediate future. It was an awesome reminder of how I can apply the wonderful changes that God has made in me to show him His glory and uplift him with a positive attitude.

Good joke, huh? If only I could find my evil twin and get her locked away in some mental hospital for acting crazy, I might could be June Cleaver after all!

Ashley @ Domestic Fashionista said...

What a great reminder in a reflection of looking into the New Year! I think your goals are awesome and I look forward to hearing all about them. :)
Ashley

Bonnie said...

Thank you for the much needed reminder that my attitude and mood make a world of difference in my home too. Looking forward to your posts in 2009!

Jennifer said...

Great reminder....as wives we really do set the tone for the whole household - may not sound fair but its true. A mood check is always a good idea and really does so much for a home...even on its less than tidy days!

Rachael said...

Kimba~

You have such a way of reminding me of what is important in making a happy home and family. I have actually resolved this year to to grouch and complain less, and to live, love and laugh more. This is something I can do with my hubby and my boys.
Also, I need to learn to just to let things "be". My late mother-in-law used to always say "It is, what it is". You can't make everything perfect and everyone happy all of the time. But, you can try to be a positive and loving force in your own home and remember your blessings each and every day.

Thanks for the great post and wishing you a HAPPY, HEALTHY 2009!!

Blissful Nikki said...

I love reading your old posts just as much as your new posts!!
I can not wait to see what creativity lies ahead for 2009!! :)

Leigh said...

Perfect!

Laryssa @ Heaven In The Home said...

Kimba, sounds like we are working on the same things! I just posted about that yesterday.

http://www.heaveninthehome.com/2009/01/01/happy-new-year/


Thanks for being real!

Cricket said...

Yup, I needed that too. It's like getting a bucket of cold water thrown on you. Exactly what the doctor ordered!

Every Day Blessings said...

I think this is what our homes should be! Thanks for putting in to words how I feel.When my girls have friends call and invite them over I love to hear my girls say Lets play at my house!
I also love all your creative decorating ideas.I am looking forward to 2009!

KayEllen said...

Wonderful!
Happy New Year Kimba:)
So glad I found your blog last month!

Blessing to you in 2009!

KayEllen

Sallie said...

My hubby works 16-18 hour days and he comes home to an overstressed wife at least 2-3 days a week. I too have decided to change my mood. Maybe he doesn't mind those long hours. LOL!

Suzann @ Lavender and Roses said...

Okay, can you say ouch!? Apparently God wanted ME to see this today because you've described me and my concerns and attitudes completely.

I'm liking (loving) what you have in store for 2009!!!

Maritez said...

I love that reminder....definitely don't want my husband to think of me as his quarrelsome wife!

Mama Kat said...

Just checking in! I haven't heard from you in awhile missy! Things still look cozy and inviting over here. :)

Happy New Year!

Manuela@Pleasures of Homemaking said...

Thanks for reposting that as I guess I didn't start reading your blog untill this year. I totally agree, I've always felt that it's my duty to set the tone for my home. I'm really looking forward to you sharing more of your insights this new year!

Manuela

Katie said...

I can't wait to read more. May God Bless you in 2009!!

Montee said...

I have visited your blog several times and really enjoy it.

My husband always says, "If mama ain't happy, nobody's happy."

Andrea said...

So TRUE! What Bible study was this? My group is looking for a good one when we have finished our current one.

Ally0005 said...

You are so right our moods make a big difference with our family.
Thank you for reminding me.

Susie Harris said...

Beautiful post. Im trying to watch my mood too. It seems when I become overloaded with house chores I become grumpy. Im working on that~ smile. Thank you for this post... Im so looking foward to another year bloggin together again~

Laura said...

Ouch! I hear you. I am right there with you. AND I am striving to change that in 2009 too! :) Let's pray for one another!!

Mimi Sue said...

You know what they say...If mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy. Same idea. You are absolutely right about women setting the tone in our homes. And thank you for the great idea of hiding things in the dryer. I never thought of that one! I learn something new everyday. Mimi

Robin said...

So true, so true! Moms do seem to set the mood in a home, don't we!? I would like to invite you to visit my nest during January for my organizing ideas and tips! I hope to hear from you if you visit! Happy New Year!

Gray Matters said...

Wise words - definitely needed to hear them. Thank you.

kellye@onemomswalk said...

Hi Kimba! I am very very new to the blogging world and never ever thought I would be able to find so many people that I have so much in common with!! WOW!! This post is awesome. My Pastor's wife and I always talk about how we will cook whatever, wash clothes, re-decorate til the cows come home, and almost sell our soul to try to make our husbands and children happy, but change our mood when we know that we set the tone...NAH!! Of course that is sarcasm, but it is so true. Thank you so much for this...I need it as I kick off my new year and new me!!

Kellye

Joanne said...

I remember while at a Bible study many moons ago, an older Titus 2 woman told me that I set the thermostat in my home.

That ALWAYS has stuck with me.

May you be blessed in 2009, and may the temperature of your home always be comfortable!

Jennifer P. said...

We really do have the potential to be the best put together thing in our homes, don't we? I love this thought! I love the thought of my children seeing mom with a smile on her face when they walk through the door, and if the house is lovely around me---then it will only be a bonus, right?! Lovely thought!

p.s. you can also hide clutter in the oven :).

Tori said...

Great post!!!

Flor Larios Art said...

I love the post! very nice!

Wendy said...

Hey Kimba! Thanks for re-sharing this post. Somethimg I need to remember. I'm a worrier by nature...and that can translate into a grumpy mommy and wife if I'm not careful. Thanks for the reminder that I really can set the tone in my home.

Stacey said...

I love that you shared those verses. My husband loves to quote those to me when I'm grouchy. There's always a sparkle in his eye when he can pull those out of his mind. :)

emily said...

Great post, Kimba. I never saw this one so I'm glad you reposted it. I'm pretty sure the roof of our house would be better than the kitchen somedays. Or the bedroom. Or the living room. Here's to creating soft places in 2009!

Stacey @ The Blessed Nest said...

The new year is always such a wonderful time for review! I'm doing the same thing by determining how I want my home and self to be over the next year. A good and needed reminder to set the right tone for not only my children, but also my husband! I'm really looking forward to all that you'll share with us here over this next year :).

Blessings,
Stacey

Bee said...

You just described my goals and my reality. I don't have small children but I have one daughter in college (whom I worry about constantly) and 2 dogs and 2 cats. Frankly, they make me crazy some days. And then he walks in at the end of the day and meets the Witch.

I'm going to print this and save it, to remind me to be more like the Proverbs 31 Woman and less like the Proverbs 21 woman.

I'm glad you re-posted this!

cee said...

I'm a newer reader of your blog, so I wasn't around the first time you posted this. I'm so glad you reposted it! This is a great thought to start 2009 with. I know I need the reminder!

Pretty Organizer said...

Amen sister amen! That's exactly what you're all about.. and I'm working on the same thing on the other side of the US. Our family needs that soft, safe place to seek refuge from the ills of the day.

I LOVE YOU Girl.. We'd be spray painting partners if you were any closer.

Great new post!

Judy Sanza said...

Oh dear...me too! The Lord sometimes has to hit me real hard to pay attention. Thanks for sharing your life.

Judy in Fernandina Beach, FL on Amelia Island

Victoria said...

Oh Kimba but a wonderful post. Really hits home and makes me think about what kind of woman my husband comes home to. Thanks for making us all think!

Leslie Young said...

Love this! I ran across your blog during the home tour and I just love it! Thanks for sharing your gifts - and most of all, your authenticity!

Rachel and Jacob said...

that was good new yr post. Im moving this month and you gave me some good things to think about!

boutcrazy said...

Great insight on what we as wives should be doing within the house. Unfortunately, I'm the last one to get home and the first to leave. It's hard to set that tone with this schedule. Thankfully I have a great husband that has picked up the slack.

Traci said...

Since I haven't been a reader since the beginning, that was awesome to be able to read. It hits the nail on the head for me and what I long to achieve.

Lana said...

I love this post! It is so true and definately has meaning for me, too!

angela | the painted house said...

You perfectly described the scene at our house upon the witching hour. What a great post, Kimba!

Karin @ 6ByHisDesign said...

Kimba,

I believe we began blogging at approximately the same time...and I just adored your title. I'm finding myself returning more and more...and not for projects. Those seemed to have evolved from those first days. But mostly because you are a real mom out in the trenches of youngsterdom daily, just like me.

In the meantime, I have treasured up a quote in my heart from a favorite blogger friend of mine - Melissa Lester from A Little Loveliness. Paraphrased, she stated that her husband provides the livelihood while she provides the lovelihood in their home. Now, I have struggled to define this for myself, as she is quite an amazing woman; but it seemed to sum up what you were trying to express through that initial title.

Anyway, your original post struck a chord, and I wish you all the best in your adventures in '09.

Blessings,
Karin

Scrappinfor3 said...

Wow!!! I need to re read this post again. . it's so truly true. . .if Momma ain't happy ~ ain't nobody happy! {I don't usually use 'ain't' in my everyday language. . .but it fits here.

Shelby said...

I LOVE this post. Thank you! I needed this. We call 5:00 p.m. our "witching hour" too. Thank you for this!

Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates said...

That hits home for me! I need to really focus on these things starting now!

ACJ said...

Kimba, I've only been following your blog for a little while, but I must say that this post really hit home for me. While I'm not necessarily a "grouch," I know I tend to be difficult sometimes. I've been working on changing that for a while and have made it one of my main goals for '09.

Thanks for a great post!

PamperingBeki said...

These are just perfect goals, Kimba!

They're nearly identical to the ones I've had in my head, but have been afraid to say out loud. (or type out...)

God bless you!

Susancnw said...

Yeah, I needed that too. I'm sitting here today grumpy, out of sorts, whiney and disgruntled. Humph. The sun is shining (wind at a zillion miles an hour), food in my tummy, roof over our heds...and I'm still out of sorts. And I can't blame it on PMS either.

Hmmmm....I've been thinking the same things too...I want our place to be a home. We rent and are limited in what we can do, but since we'll be there a couple more years, I plan to paint this spring, I'd LOVE to paint the kitchen cabinets, get our bedroom, den and loft area painted, turn our bedroom into something cozy....wow...thanks so much

Juice said...

Kimba, being the non-crafty type I generally lurk and daydream while visiting your blog. I'm de-lurking to let you know how much I've enjoyed getting to know you. Thanks for sharing your lessons learned here. Even those of us without husbands can work on improving our attitude. After all, how can we attract people to the abundant life in Christ if it does not look like we are living it?

Elliemae said...

You are awesome!! Thanks for re-sharing this post! It's great.

Teresa said...

You are so right about being the "mood" of the family- thanks for your beautiful words- you have a lovely blog-

Lori said...

Good morning,

I just hopped over here from your link at The Inspired Room.

Really enjoyed this post. My main goal(s) in life is to be a good wife and mother. I strive towards this on a daily basis. Or, at least I used to. I've been a bit lazy about it lately. And your post was just the reminder that I needed.

Thanks so much. I'll be back to visit!

Lori
SimpleShutter

Rosie's Whimsy said...

So glad you shared that again. A rather simple lesson with complex outcomes.

Miss Sandy said...

Great post and a worthy goal to desire to be more pleasant. Thank you for sharing your insights.

Connie Weiss said...

I have improved my attitude by moving out of the marital bedroom and into the guest room so I can get some sleep!

Frippery said...

OMG No wonder there are so many "take my wife, please" jokes. I am going to take this to heart as well. It is true in our home as well, if mama ain't happy... Thanks for reminding me to be more kind to the one who makes my beautiful life so easy. Pam

Jennifer said...

Ouch! I've had a renewed commitment lately to making my home a "haven" for my family...but I've also been very convicted about how my moods affect my family (I've been fighting attacks of the grumpies lately.) Thanks for this reminder...I needed to see those verses again right now!

Kimberlee said...

I found your post through Small Notebook. Glad I did!

Yowza! Can I just crawl in the attic? I AM one of those who deals with PMS (add the coming change of life and you can imagine the party in my house a week beforehand...)

I really need to burn those Proverbs into my brain cells, though. I should keep them at my bedside for reading first thing.

On another note - Pizza man!! was just killin' me. LOL!